Tips on how to say no as an introvert

I used to struggle working in an office environment. I found the noise, the constant distractions and ringing phones hard to deal with. The impression that I was expected to sit at my desk all day, day in and day out, felt like I was trapped.

It’s only fairly recently, having taken myself out of that environment, that I’ve realised being a bit of an introvert was probably part of the reason I wasn’t 100% comfortable.

Being an introvert (my understanding) basically means that spending time around other people can drain you. It’s not shyness, it’s not that you’re not sociable. It’s that being around other people​ (even those you love) uses up your energy. ​You need frequent breaks to just be in your own company. And think.

On the other hand if you’re an extrovert – being around other people actually energises you.

Really, my ideal work environment most of the time is to be around max. one or two other people. Preferably not all day. Or, on my own with a book!

Anyway today, after a couple of awkward interactions, I had to remind myself that:

  1. It’s ok to say no to doing things you don’t want to do. How many of us wrestle with the people pleasing ‘I must be sociable’ thing, going against what we really want?
  2. Also, I’m probably feeling tired because I spent all weekend with ​various ​big groups of people. It’s no surprise that I need a bit of time to myself.
  3. Thirdly, there’s a podcast​ out there that reminds me it’s ok to be an introvert. There are other people out there that feel the same, who maybe have a few tricks up their sleeves.

The podcast’s called ​’​The League of Extra​o​rdinary Introverts​’​. I particularly like an interview with a writer I admire called Alexandra Franzen S2E6 Subtracting More To Get More With Alexandra Franzen

Amongst other things she talks about how to deal with overwhelm by subtracting more from your life. And most noteworthy, how to say no to things you don’t really want to do, or that will take up your time. My kind of topic, and a comfort to listen to.​ Enjoy.

Bonus Article

Also, bonus resources, here’s an article from Alex on how to say no to everything ever

Bonus workbook

To round things up, a free workbook she’s created with templates on how to turn down invitations nicely: how to say no

If you’d like to book in a coaching session with me, email me at: joaopoku@gmail.com and I’ll get in touch for a chat.

Photo by Robert Bye on Unsplash

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