I have a massive fear of being seen and being heard. Of being ‘caught out’. Of being mocked – what’s she doing? Fear of not being good enough. Scared of doing something wrong.
Related: Imposter Syndrome
Where on earth does the fear of being seen come from?
Some childhood experience that taught me that I’m not good enough? Early ridicule? Did I make a massive mistake that I’ve never recovered from? No.
Is it a collective female thing? Something we’re born with? Something society has thrust upon us? Maybe.
Does it help in any way? Perhaps it makes me careful, conscientious, thoughtful…but mainly – NO it doesn’t help. Rather, it holds me back. It stops me from going for opportunities and cripples my proactivity. It gives me a worry in the pit of my stomach that bothers me.
So what can I do about this?
Fight it. Push it down. Know that I can be seen and heard. People want to see and hear from me. My friends and family do – some strangers do. People aren’t going to openly mock me. When has that actually ever happened? When have I actually done something wrong? Like – really wrong? More than a small mistake or oversight?
Er – never.
Am I ever going to move on in my life if I’m holding myself back from self-created negative outcomes, imaginings, worries? No.
Do I need to get on with it, stop caring what other people think, relish in the fact that some people might not ‘get me’ or like me or appreciate me and my work, and that it doesn’t matter? Yes!
Do I need to be ‘seen’ as every other female in the world needs to be? Yes! Do I have an interesting point of view, thoughts, feelings, offerings? Yes.
Well then. From now on. No more BS. Excuses. Fear.
Do you agree? What are you going to do?
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Photo by Olesya Yemets on Unsplash