Posted on

The amazing feeling when you’ve made a big scary decision

I’ll never forget the feeling I had when I made the decision to quit my job. It was a feeling of MASSIVE relief and freedom. Like I could breathe deeply again. I remember feeling exhausted. But I had a real sense of – I can do anything.

I’d been at my parents crying my eyes out, talking through my situation and I came to the conclusion that I needed to leave my job.

Related: The Day I Decided To Leave My Job

The next morning, I caught a train back home, and started walking back from the station. I bought myself a packet of salt and vinegar crisps and really savoured them, strolling along in the gentle sun.

And it might not seem a big deal, but that was quite symbolic for me. Buying a packet of crisps at 11 o’clock in the morning and strolling along eating them! I never do that! This is real freedom!!

And I just remember that feeling. I’m free. I’m not trapped in this feeling of frustration and shame and discomfort any more. I’ve made my decision. After years of self-flagellating and dreaming and not moving on – finally, finally, I had made a big decision as a grown-up adult has the right to do, and I knew in my gut it was the right decision.

The right decision?

I tell you this in case you are struggling with a decision. If you are all twisted inside, feeling uncomfortable, sick, nervous. If you are terrified of making a mistake.

Ultimately, you probably know what you really want, you are just scared. Or you are torn between two equally decent sounding options. Or, maybe one is decent and sensible and a little boring, and the other is big and exciting and risky. Whatever.

Related: What happens after you reach ‘Breaking Point’?

The main thing I want you to know is that the absolute worst is the indecision. The wrangling and overthinking and swaying from one side to the other.

And the absolute best, is making that decision. Knowing that you are equipped to deal with whatever the outcome is. Perhaps it won’t work out quite as you hoped or expected. Maybe there are still tough times to come. It could be you’ll have to quickly make another big decision, then another.

Think new thoughts

But the sooner you move on, the sooner you can get stuck into the next phase. And feel that sense of freedom and excitement at having made your decision. You can concentrate on other stuff. Think new thoughts.

Sure there will be other dilemmas and issues and let downs. But you will be safe in the knowledge that you made that big decision! It’s yours. You did it. You had the guts to do it. And you can do it again. It’s given me a certain confidence that I’ll never forget.

From deciding to leave my job, a good year or so later I then made the decision to move to live in Spain. With a new job working remotely and a looming Brexit, this was the time. A little after, I made the decision to set up my coaching practice on the side.

I’m certain my decision to leave my job allowed me to make these other big decisions with a  lot more ease and confidence. (With moving to Spain, I still stressed, and worried, and sometimes wondered what the hell I was doing…but I got on with it. Because deep down I knew exactly what I was doing). I’d stuck my neck out once, I could do it again, take a risk, follow my heart. Survive and deal with the consequences.

What decision are you hesitating on? Do you have your answer deep down? Can you take a step forward?

If you’d like my help through some coaching, get in touch here.

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

Posted on

Delight

I’ve started reading a book called Delight, by J. B. Priestley. And what a delight it is. Short chapters each focussing on something which brings the author delight. Fountains. Detective novels. Finishing a piece of work.

I love it because not only is it beautifully written and lovely insight into what makes another person tick, it makes me reflect on what brings me delight. And I think it’s one of the most important things we can try to do every day.

Delighting in the small things which can easily go unnoticed.

The way the sunlight was reflecting off a building as I walked along this morning, giving a beautiful orangey glow.

The sweet smile the street cleaner gave to me, as if we knew each other.

My morning cup of tea in my favourite mug. Ever faithful, ever delicious, ever calming.

The anticipation of family coming to visit me, and knowing that soon I can try to squeeze the life out of nieces with hugs.

When going through hard times, or just a particularly crappy day – trying to think of even one small good thing or delight in our lives can remind us that ‘this too shall pass’. Things won’t stay like this forever. Maybe the whole day wasn’t awful, for a brief moment there was also a spark of delight. And that counts for so much.

***

If you’d like to try a life coaching session with me,  you can contact me here for a chat.

Photo by David Monje on Unsplash

Posted on

4 tips to manage your energy when working remotely

I’ve been working remotely for nearly 3 years now. Over that period of time I’ve done a mixture of working from home, setting up in a co-working space, and tapping away in cafes. Now that I’ve found a lovely new co-working space I mainly work from there.

If you are considering working remotely, or just getting started, here are 4 tips I rely on to make sure I feel at my best throughout the day.

1. Set up a routine (and get moving)

Some people are happy rolling out of bed in their pyjamas, turning on their laptop, sitting on the sofa and off they go. I am not that person. I need structure, routine, and I really need to move my body and get some fresh air before starting work.

So, I have a morning routine that includes meditation, yoga, then either a gym class or a walk in my local park. For the meditation, I use the Headspace app – I normally manage 10-15 mins. I use Youtube for the yoga – YogawithAdriene and SarahBethYoga, also 10-15 mins.

I love this routine. It allows me to wake up slowly, without rushing, and then get moving. At the gym there’s music, a few friendly faces to say hi to, the rush of endorphins. Especially when working from home, it feels good to be around other people first thing.

Then sat at my desk to start work, I feel energised and happy, ready to go. It’s the same if I walk in the park; I always listen to a podcast or music as I walk, which inspires me and puts me in a good mood.

2. Have a change of scene

I’ve also found that I’m best suited to a few different work locations in a day. Back when l started working from home all day, it got too much for me and by the afternoon I’d start to feel cut off from the world. I discovered that going to sit in a café for an hour or so was like a massive injection of energy; suddenly I was part of the world again, and I’d become super productive.

In the current coworking space, I work at a desk where I can stand or sit, and I’ll sometimes switch to a quiet meeting room, or the in-house café, depending on what I need. I really appreciate being able to change my position and my surroundings, depending on what I’m working on and my mood.

3. Take a proper lunch break

If you’re not in a traditional office set-up it can be easy to just keep on working… But it’s good to get away from your computer – ideally away from any screen, even better if you can take a walk outside… and drink lots of water!

4. Break between work and evening

I think it’s important to make a distinction between your working day and the evening.  My number one favourite thing to do after work is to go for a walk. As was the case when I worked in an office, it feels so good to get outside, move and leave work behind. Going for a walk does wonders for your energy levels and can help you to relax.

***

I hope some of these tips help or inspire you if you are new to working remotely or looking to change your routine.

If you are considering a change of direction in your career or life in general, feeling stuck, and struggling to work out what to do next, I can help you. Send me a message here and we can set up a chat about life coaching.

Photo by Emmanuel Kontokalos on Unsplash

Posted on

Top 10 tips for creating a Vision Board

Small images forming a vision board

Why create a Vision Board?

In a previous post I talked about how effective I found using a vision board in helping me to focus on what I want, and to work towards achieving it. It helped me in making my decision to move to Spain. Vision boards are a useful way to visualise your goals and make them more concrete.

A vision board is like a collage, containing a series of images that you have selected, all relating to a goal you want to achieve.

Creating a vision board helps you to get excited about your goal, to start to picture what achieving the goal looks like, and acts as a reminder and encouragement to take positive action.

*Download my guide to creating vision boards ( PDF ebook) here: How to create a vision board ebook*

Here’s what to do:

1. Set up Pinterest or similar app (which act as digital pinboards), or get yourself a pinboard or notebook.

2. Pick a goal (or several), for example ‘my new job’ or ‘I’m a runner’ or ‘my trip to Argentina’. Create a digital vision board if you’re using an app, with the goal as your vision board title. You can create ‘secret’ vision boards on Pinterest, that no one else can see. If using a pinboard or notebook, do the same, put your goal as your title.

Start collecting images

3. Next, start collecting images relating to your goal. With Pinterest you can search using key words or themes, and it starts generating images you might like. Or you can look through old magazines and tear out images, or search online.

4. Select anything that makes you smile, that makes you feel positive and inspired about your goal. The image might not be an exact representation of what you want, but if it generates the right feeling (contentment, excitement, giddiness, desire) you’re onto the right thing.

Select images that make you feel

5. For example if your goal is to become a regular runner, or complete a 5k run, you might select images which represent the pride and relief you’ll feel after having completed your first 5k run. Like a picture of Jessica Ennis-Hill coming over the finishing line at the Olympics. Or you might select a picture of person jumping up in the air on a beach, with a massive smile on their face. This represents how you want to feel after your race. You might have images of a couple of athletes you admire, whose achievements or work ethic you’d like to emulate.

6. Maybe you’re dying to visit Argentina, you find an image of a mysterious, elegant couple dancing tango in the middle of a street in Buenos Aires. You select pictures of the amazing food you’re going to sample, and the cool restaurants you’re going to visit. Anything that reminds you what you want, and inspires feeling.

7. If your goal is to find a new job or change career, you might include images of what you’d love your place of work to look like (office/home/studio/café etc), images to represent the sort of environment you want to be in. If you’d like your commute to involve a 10-minute stroll through a park, you could choose images to represent that. You might include images of people, the kind of people you’d like to work with, or ideal clients. Include details of as many aspects as you can think of, to build up a picture of your day.

Bin anything that doesn’t inspire you

8. Tweak your vision board – anything that doesn’t make you feel great, bin. Add to it as you go along and feel inspired.

9. Now that you’ve carefully curated your vision board – make sure you look at it regularly. Every day at least. Ideally throughout the day. When you’re on hold on the phone. Before bed, when you wake up, when you’re taking a 5 minute break. When you’re making a cup of tea. Look at it and let yourself enjoy the buzz you get from it. Let yourself feel excited. Let yourself be propelled to take a little action step towards achieving your goal.

10. Finally – enjoy! Have fun, get creative, dare to dream, don’t feel a though you have to show your vision board to anyone.

Knowing what you want

When I’d created my vision boards I found that it was like my exciting little secret, this little world I’d created where the images bought me joy and motivation. It’s a great feeling knowing exactly what you want.

And as far as I’m concerned, it works. The more you focus on what you want, the more likely something is to happen.

I created a vision board called ‘I’m a writer’, before I knew it my boss had asked me to create copy for our website and marketing, and I’d started a personal blog.

I created a vision board called ‘I’m a salsa dancer’, and I finally found a salsa class that I love.

My vision board focussed on my new life in Spain has well and truly come to life.

Try it

Just try it. Even if it helps you clarify whether or not you really want something, it’s a useful process to go through. And it might just create a little magic.

*Download my guide to creating vision boards (PDF ebook) here: How to create a vision board ebook*

Be sure to contact me if you need help on clarifying your goals, making decisions and taking action. If you’re feeling stuck, stressed, or considering a change in career, I can help.

Finally, please share this post with someone who you think might enjoy it. Here’s the link.

Posted on

Vision boards and visualisation

Vision board: Black and white image of couple dancing

Last weekend I took a trip to a beautiful seaside town on the Costa Blanca in Spain, called Jávea. In the Airbnb I stayed in, there was a pile of old magazines and books. I picked one up, an old French magazine, and flicked through it. On one page, I was stunned for a minute to see an image I know well.

A small black and white image of a couple dancing. The man, dapper in a suit and loafers, has one arm around his partner. She’s cool, in a tucked in shirt and calf length black skirt, one arm on her partner’s shoulder, the other hidden behind her back. She looks directly at the camera, ready to be swung around. They look relaxed and insouciant, moving to a beat. It’s a beautiful picture.

And it has a place close to my heart. It’s an image I came across randomly over a year ago now, and it’s one I’ve studied many times since.

Building a specific picture of what you want

It’s part of a vision board that I created prior to moving to Spain. Along with several other images, it’s a picture I looked at over and over in the run up to moving. These pictures made me dream, I could imagine how I wanted my life to be, how I wanted it to change.

You can download my guide to creating vision boards as a PDF here: How to create a vision board ebook

I’d read a few books that mention how powerful a vision board can be, so I thought I’d give it a go. I knew that I wanted to move to Spain, but I knew that I had to put the idea to my bosses, and get over any fears around actually doing it.

My interpretation is that if you put effort into focussing specifically on what you want, use images to help you visualise what you want, and, importantly, how you want to feel, it helps you move closer to achieving your goal.

The more you can build a specific picture of what you want, the more real it becomes. The more you focus on what you want, and the more open you become to opportunities to make it happen.

My vision board

Take my vision board based on my decision to move to Valencia for example, which I created using Pinterest. (Here’s my post about how to create a vision board – Top 10 tips for creating a vision board.) I called it ‘I live in Ruzafa’ (my neighbourhood in Valencia). I selected any image that related to how I imagined my life to be in Spain to be,. Any image that made me feel happy and excited for my potential life in Spain.

For example, I picked images of the streets I wanted to walk around in.

There’s an image of a people eating dinner sat outside a restaurant, along a cobbled street; it’s early evening and there is soft lighting above their heads, shuttered windows overhead.

I chose a picture of a minimalist pilates studio.

There’s an image of a passageway in a park, with benches along one side, and what appears to be a tunnel of pink bougainvillea stretching along to the end.

There’s a picture of the co-work space I’d spotted on a previous visit.

There are numerous cool cafes I could picture myself drinking in, working in, catching up with friends in.

I had images of a park I wanted to walk and picnic in, the beach I wanted to relax at during weekends.

I had images of the sort of flat I wanted to live in: modern, simple, bright.

Every time I’d look at this vision board, I’d feel a buzz of excitement. It helped me believe that my dream could be possible. It gave me the motivation to go for it and make it happen.

The result

And now, over a year after moving to Valencia, I walk through the streets I’d captured on my vision board. I’m in the cafes, the co-work space, and the park every day. I visit a pilates studio two minutes from my front door and go to the beach whenever the urge takes me. I live in a modern, simple, bright apartment.

And I dance salsa (read more here). Not quite with the pizzazz of the couple in my picture (and I don’t think they’re actually dancing salsa), but nevermind.

I frequently feel that same buzz of excitement I felt when looking at my vision board. I’m really here, doing the things I wanted to do!

I’m not saying this to show off. My life certainly isn’t perfect. But I consciously thought about how I want to life my life, what I want to do, how I want it to be. That’s the first step to making it a reality.

Seeing the picture of the dancers in the magazine touched me. It feels special. My vision board held components of this dream I held so close, that has become a reality. I can see how far I’ve come.

Using visualisations isn’t magic

You’re training your mind to focus on what you want. Willing yourself to do what you really want. It’s about reminding yourself of what’s important to you. When your visualisations start to become reality, it feels like magic.

Please share with someone you think might enjoy exploring vision boards.

Do you need help with a career transition? If you want to get unstuck and move forward  with your life, and you’d like to try coaching with me, book in a session here: Contact Me

You can download my guide to creating vision boards as a PDF here: How to create a vision board ebook

Photo: Viralnova