Stuck in a groove – how Queer Eye can help you get unstuck

The TV show Queer Eye and an Aussie YouTuber are this week’s inspiration for getting unstuck and taking action. Random? Stick with me…

YouTube ‘reset your life’ videos

There’s an Aussie lady on YouTube who makes videos on productivity. She often publishes videos on resetting your life, her most popular ones. They are always along the lines of: ‘reset for the week ahead’, ‘a reset for this month’, or even ‘reset your life’. When you’re busy or stressed or overwhelmed, the thought of a reset is so appealing…

She’ll list the things she’s going to do: clean and tidy the flat; fix things that need to be repaired and have been bugging her; get into a new routine of healthy eating or going to bed earlier; organising and decluttering all her digital stuff. It’s strangely watchable. There’s something satisfying about watching someone else getting stuff done, ticking off their list.

Quite often when I speak to people in a coaching session who are feeling a bit stuck, it turns out they too want to change their daily routine and how they’re spending their time. They want a reset.

They want to eat more fruit, watch less tv, do more exercise. Sometimes there’s a bigger need as well, such as changing career or setting up a business on their own. Whatever the case, they want to get into some good habits like sleeping earlier and getting up earlier to have a bit more time. They want to look after themselves a bit more. And they want to get unstuck.

Queer Eye

Which brings me to the TV programme Queer Eye. Queer Eye is all about helping someone who is stuck in a groove. Five experts in five different areas – looking after your appearance, decoration, cookery, clothing and relationships – help someone who has been nominated as needing a shake up.

Perhaps they need to change their way of thinking about themselves, build some self-esteem and stop the super negative thoughts.

Often they could do with caring for themselves a little more and perking themselves up – sorting out a skincare routine, getting their hair cut and trying a new outfit.

Their home environment is tackled. Often they are settling for a far from ideal situation because of their low self-esteem or because of general lethargy. 

Frequently the person has a floundering business or could do with getting a jolt of energy into their career. 

The Queer Eye guys are empathetic and caring and gently kick their client’s butt, encouraging and motivating them to do things they’ve never done before. They build their self-belief. There are always tears and there’s always a joyful ending.

Plan a reset

I love the reset videos and Queer Eye because they inspire you to think about your own situation. Is there something nagging at you that you want to get done but you can’t seem to drum up the enthusiasm? Is there some kind of improvement you could make to your home? Do you need a kick up the butt to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do?

Sometimes it can be helpful to sit down and plan a reset. Write down all the different things you want to change and possible solutions. It can be as small as ‘get up 10 minutes earlier every day so I don’t have to rush’ to ‘find a new job in tech so I can quit my boring job’. It’s important to list the solutions too so that you can actually start to take action. 

If you want to wake up 10 minutes earlier and have more time, what can you actually do? You can set your alarm. Maybe you’ll plan what you’ll wear and set out your breakfast things the night before so that you have fewer decisions to make in the morning. You can work out what you’ll do with your extra 10 minutes. Plan to set a timer. Select a book you want to read. Do 10 minutes research on your new career.

If you want to find a new job what can you do? Plan to talk to someone who might have some advice. Start working with a coach to sort out what you really want to do. Read up on what CVs look like these days. Read a book on career change.

Monthly reset

You might want to plan a monthly reset. Take one day a month to sit down and take a broader look at your life and how you spend your time. Are you happy with it all? What would you like to change? What would you like to cut out? Is there anything you’d want to add in?

If you’d like to have some coaching sessions with me, contact me on LinkedIn or at joaopoku@gmail.com

Photo by Jace & Afsoon on Unsplash


How to move on with a career shift

My clients are brilliant people who are feeling stuck in their careers. They aren’t happy or comfortable where they are – the work just doesn’t click, it doesn’t feel great. It’s not fulfilling them. But they have no clue how to move on – they have dreams which seem far off, impossible. Dreams they don’t even dare take seriously. 

They have an idea where they want to be – in a job where they are thriving. And they want to be full of energy, doing the work, enjoying it, using their brains, using their skills, feeling fulfilled. They want to know that they are doing good. They want to be earning good money, and feeling valued. 

Make a plan

Where do I come in? I help them make a plan.

I help them get all their ideas out of their heads, really get them to think deeply about what it is that they want.

Forget about what they’re doing now, forgot about what other people think they should do. 

Deep down, what is going to bring them energy, excitement, contentment? What do they know they could be really good at, and enjoy? Most of us have got something. Something we think sounds so cool, that we’d love to spend all our time doing.

Once they have a clear idea of what they want, I help them make a plan. How are they going to get from the situation they are in now, to where they want to be? What are the little steps they need to take which will eventually get them there?

As with any change, it’s all about moving forward with little steps, keeping going. 

Little steps

Do they need to contact someone to ask for contact details, for advice, for information? 

Would it help to find a course to test things out, or get a qualification? 

Could they find someone who works in a company that interests them, and get some insider information on what it’s like to work there, and what the hiring situation is like? 

Perhaps they need to take the time to update their LinkedIn profile, start connecting with people and building a network of contacts, start posting so that people can get to know them? 

All of this is stuff they might think of doing themselves, but then procrastinate, leave it for another day, or avoid. We most often know what needs to be done, but because it seems scary or awkward or a lot of work, we put it off. 

I help by holding my clients to account. We break down the task, make the first step super easy and small, agree when they’ll do it by.

When we next speak, they’ll be excited to tell me that they’ve done it, what the result was, and we’ll move on to the next thing. 

It’s all quite simple, and super effective. 

Progress

Clients make great progress working with me because they’re invested in making things happen. They’ve taken the time and spent money to make sure they actually make the changes they want to. 

We break it all down so that it becomes really doable. Once clients start doing things they had previously shied away from, or avoided, they grow in confidence.

And they start seeing results, a positive response, someone taking them seriously, a new opportunity comes up. They start shifting, they start to move on from their previous work persona and move towards a new one.

If you’d like to try a coaching session with me, send me a message on LinkedIn or at joaopoku@gmail.com for more info and details.

Written during Writers’ Hour. Join me on the next one.

Photo by Paweł Czerwiński on Unsplash

How to be sure your next step in career change is the right decision?

I have a client who is stuck. Let’s call her Maria. Maria needs help. She wants to ensure she’s making the right decision about her future.

Maria returned to the UK after living in Australia for a year or so, working as a personal PA. She spent the past few years doing jobs that haven’t challenged her or helped her learn or grow. As she puts it, she’s ready to do something which is going to force her to use her brain.

Maria thinks she knows what her next step will be, to do a four year part-time course in nutrition. But she’s questioning herself, wondering if this is just a whim. Is this the right decision? Is she interested enough? Will it be a viable career? Can she make money as a nutritionist? Does she want to spend the next few years studying, what about money?

Break it down and build a realistic picture

When you are in a situation like this, it’s good to break down all your questions and worries and do as much research as possible. It’s the same process whether it’s a course, a job offer, starting up a business on your own. The aim is to build a more realistic picture of what this will look and feel like, and then make the right decision based on what you discover. 

For example you might be worried about the future, wondering how easy it would be to get a job with your new qualification. Nothing is certain, but you can get a clearer idea. See if the course leader can put you in touch with past students and find out what they are up to now. 

This way you can find out what’s realistic. Research jobs that appeal and are a viable next step; working as a nutritionist, working in the food production industry, perhaps writing articles for a food and wellness magazine. Get as full a picture as possible on what different opportunities there may be, and what appeals to you.

The best way to deal with a difficult decision is to be as informed as possible.

So if the course content is a worry, again, arrange to talk to the course leader and find out more detail. What exactly will you be studying each week, each term? Will it cover everything you want to know? Will there be content on setting up your own business – if that’s a route you’re interested in? How many hours of study will you do per week? How much extra reading will you need to do?  

Does what you find out seem interesting and exciting, or dull and off-putting?

And if money is worrying you – what can you do about it? Could you do a part-time job alongside studying, how would that fit in? Would that support you? Would you have the time? Do you need to save up first?

You’ll be better equipped to make a decision once you’ve carefully considered all of the above, and you’ve written notes and ideas and plans. And it’s important to listen to yourself. Are you drawn towards this course, this imagined life? Are you full of energy thinking about it, are you excited? Or are you withdrawing, feeling uneasy, feeling trapped? 

There is no certainty, but once you’ve put as much research into your decision as possible it will help.

If you’d like to work with me on some coaching sessions, find me on LinkedIn and send me a message, or email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Written during Writers’ Hour. Join me on the next one.

Photo by Han Lahandoe on Unsplash

The perfect time for writing, reflecting & planning.

This time of year, the days between Christmas Day and the New Year, I naturally turn to reflecting on the current year, and on the new year to come.

How do I feel about the year that’s about to end? Generally a good year? Not so good? Did anything go well, and what could I have done differently?

What plans do I have for January? Do I want to change how I go about my day-to-day routines? What big plans do I have for the whole year, what do I want to achieve?

I love to write it all down.

I find writing cathartic, whether it’s a blogpost, the day’s to-do list, big plans for the future or simply getting down on paper how I’m feeling. Reflecting in this way is therapeutic, getting it all out of my head, and down on paper. It’s a way of processing my thoughts.

There’s such freedom in writing. Random words, imagined conversations, massive crazy dreams. Writing down how you really feel about something, and would never dare tell anyone.

Also it can help you come up with solutions. Getting down all possible options, making a massive plan of all the steps it will take to do something.

Here are a few writing exercises I’ll be doing over the next few days, that you might want to try.

Reflection

1. When reflecting back over the past year, a really nice exercise is to think of and write down all the things I’m proud of. What did I overcome, or survive? When did I do something that took courage. What did I find a solution to? Was there a situation I dealt with well? Who did I help? In which moments did I cheer myself on and get something done?

Those times you’ve felt nervous, or unequipped or unqualified, you’ve struggled with imposter syndrome – but then you did it and it was fine? That time you were assertive when usually you’d give in. That time you tried something new and loved it.

It can be hard at first, but if you push yourself to list every little thing you’re proud of, most of us can come up with quite a list.

Brief moments

2. It’s also great to consider moments of peace, contentedness, happiness, or joy during the past year. It doesn’t have to be something big, like an amazing holiday or event. Rather, those brief moments.

For example a lovely unexpected exchange with someone you didn’t know. A time you chose to do what you wanted over what someone else expected of you – and you relished in the moment. That time you took a few minutes from your busy day to sit on a bench in the sun and close your eyes, enjoying a feeling of peace.

If things aren’t going particularly well at the moment, thinking back over what you are proud of, and those little moments of joy, can help you get perspective. It wasn’t all doom and gloom – there were great moments.

3. Compare how you feel right now, with how you felt this time last year. How have things moved on? What are you pleased about? What are you frustrated at? If things haven’t gone as you’d like, you can spend some time reflecting on what you need to do to bring about change.

Future first

4. And on to what’s to come. What are my immediate plans for January, what do I want to get sorted at the start of the year? What’s bugging me? What practical things do I want to sort out, or what changes can I make to my routine?

(Download my morning routines guide here: 3 easy steps to a morning routine you love!)

5. Equally important – what do I want to enjoy or try in January in order to start off the year well? January’s the month where I like to hibernate, so which films do I want to watch, which books do I want to read, which recipes do I want to try cooking?

6. Longer term – what big plans do I have for the year, work wise, health wise, financially, personally, emotionally? However big or however long I think they might take to fulfil, I write it all down. I’m a big believer in being clear on your goals and what you want to achieve, and writing it down. For more help on this, see my vision boards guide here: How to create a vision board.

So there we go, a few tips on taking the time to reflect, reassess and plan. I hope these tips inspire you.

If you realise you need help in making this year different, I’ve recently launched my 1-hour Get Unstuck! coaching calls. Designed to get you taking action straight away, after a 1-hour call with me. Email me at joaopoku@gmail.com to arrange.

Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash

Career change – how to pick one thing and get started?

Something I often see with people who want to change their career, is that they’ve got a few vague ideas about what to do next, but they can’t see through the haze and just pick one.

How do you know which is the right one?

“What if I spend lots of time researching and going down one route, only to find it’s not right for me and I’ve wasted time? How do I decide which path to take? Why can’t someone just tell me what to do?!”

Pick one

The solution is – pick one. Just pick one and try it out. Stop procrastinating, stop wasting time. The only way to stop dithering is to take some action. Get some real insight and experience and you’ll know if it’s right for you.

You might have quite a list of possible options, from the safe and practical to the wildly exciting and (for now) completely out of reach. 

But most people will only have around 1-3 things they’re really seriously contemplating. 

Maybe your options are:

1) Stay put and go for a promotion. I’m stagnating in this role. Maybe more money and responsibility is what I need? Maybe I’ll love it? Or at least if I’m earning more and have a better job title I’ll feel better about my life?

2) Find a job in another company. Maybe my current role is actually ok, it’s just my company that I don’t like? If I were doing the same role in a really cool company, where I actually share the same values, maybe that’d be a good change?

3) Retrain as (fill in the blank). My secret dream. I think I’d love to do this, but it seems so out of reach. I’d need to do at least a year’s training. And the cost of the course will be loads…And I’m not sure I’m really confident enough to go for it, what if I’m no good? 

3 month rule

So the first step is, pick one and give yourself three months to gather information and start taking action. Ignore the other ideas for the time being. Don’t procrastinate around picking the first one, just pick the one that leaps out to you the most today.

Side note – by the way, this doesn’t mean that I think you can or should change career in 3 months. Of course it’s possible, but it took me waaaay longer, from the first moment I thought about changing. But 3 months is a good amount of time to get stuck into your project and a lot can be achieved.

Next, write a list of all the little goals you’d need to achieve to get there. Write down everything. First steps, like find out HR manager name, find LinkedIn account login, Google search where you could do a course in your area. Make each step small and achievable. Keep going through to the final goal – receive promotion letter and accept it. Receive job offer and accept it. First day of course!

Now put some time frames on your list – realistically how soon can you achieve each goal? Make it achievable but push yourself too, try and take a small action daily if possible.

Then, you are going to methodically work through your list, ticking things off as you go. You can add to it when you realise there’s a missing step – but DON’T add to the list just to procrastinate. Keep really focussed on achieving your goal.

Reassess

When it gets to the three month mark, you can reassess. Where have you got to after three months of research and (crucially) taking action? Have you achieved your goal? (Whoo!) Have you realised it’s not for you? Are you feeling uninspired by what you’ve found out?

Don’t worry if you’ve realised it’s not for you – this is good news! Because you can scratch this idea from your big list. Now you’ve got headspace to concentrate on the other two. You’re getting closer to working out what you really want to do.

Maybe in this time you’ve had a realisation, and are on a different path anyway.

The whole point of this process is to get you taking action. The number one cause of all my frustration and angst before going through my career change was thinking and worrying so much, rather than taking some kind of action.

As soon as I took things into my own hands and started doing, taking serious steps to change things, it all became a lot easier and more exciting.

Speaking of taking action, I’ve recently launched my 1-hour Get Unstuck! coaching calls. Designed to get you taking action straight away, after a 1-hour call with me. Email me at joaopoku@gmail.com to arrange.

Photo by Stephanie Harvey on Unsplash