Posted on

Get out of your own way

Talking to a new client this week I realised that she has clearly spent time thinking about her career change. She has all sorts of ideas about what she really wants to do. But she’s procrastinating.

We uncovered that she had a list of possible roles that interest her and that she’d like to explore.

There’s even a course that interests her – although she’s twice skipped getting started. 

She’s quite clear on what she doesn’t want, 1) to stay working for her company, and 2) a role where she spends the majority of her time writing. 

A company where personal growth and learning is encouraged, and important, is much more appealing. She’s clearly curious and keen to learn and at the moment that is being ignored. So a company where learning is one of the values seems like a good fit. 

She’d also like to earn more money and feels quite undervalued in what she does.

So why hasn’t she yet made the next step – when she pretty much knows what she wants?

Mainly fear. 

What’s stopping her from finding and applying for new roles? Perhaps a sense that her current role is so specific that other companies won’t be able to see her other skills and attributes. 

Maybe she sees the specifications and tells herself she’s not qualified/experienced/able enough. Although – recruitment experts suggest applying for a role if you can meet only 70% of the requirements. If you’re a good fit you can learn the rest. 

Why hasn’t she gone ahead with the course? She admitted that she didn’t feel creative enough. So she’s put a barrier in her way, perhaps feeling inadequate or worried she won’t enjoy the course.

Luckily we came up with a couple of solutions to this – speaking to acquaintances who work in the industry and getting their take on her fears around creativity. And speaking to the course provider and learning a bit more about the reality of what the course entails.  

This is quite common with clients. Although they feel stuck at work and frustrated and despairing – in fact they have a pretty clear idea of alternatives that would make them happier. But they are procrastinating, based on fear, which is totally understandable. Change and putting yourself out there can be scary – you can’t predict the outcome.

You might be setting yourself up for rejection, feeling uncomfortable, failure. 

But the thing is  – staying stuck is not a good feeling. Feelings of frustration. Getting angry at yourself for letting yourself stay in the current situation. That negative voice in our heads can be so harsh. 

The thing about going through rejection, feeling uncomfortable, potential failure – is that you always come out the other side, and you always learn something. Even if you learn that you should trust your instincts more. That no, that company doesn’t hold the same values as you. Or that yes, you should have swotted up more on the company’s vision. Yes, that role definitely isn’t for you. 

With all this you’re moving forward, learning, gaining momentum, getting closer to what you want. You’re narrowing it down, practising for when it really matters. 

Only you can change your situation, really. You have to find a way to take action and stop procrastinating. Whether it’s getting a friend to be your ally and spur you on, speaking to a coach, getting help from a mentor. Find a way to feel supported – and do what you have to do. You already know what you have to do – you just have to get past yourself and start, step by step.

I offer career change coaching. You can book a session here: calendly.com/joannaopokulifecoaching. Or get in touch if you’d like to learn more. Find me on LinkedIn or email at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

Posted on

Start small, start slowly, but start

I saw a quote yesterday from a rapper called Willie D – no idea of the context, but it struck me. He was basically saying that whatever happens in his life, illness, disaster, whatever, every single day he has to spend 5 minutes working towards whatever it is he wants to achieve.

5 minutes is small, but it’s something. And you can do a surprising amount in 5 minutes. 

I’m currently doing a writing course, and we’re starting off with 10 minute writing exercises each morning. It always surprises me how long 10 minutes seems. I splurge on the page for a minute and then it’s a matter of keeping going, keeping going, think think, what more can you write? 10 minutes does not necessarily fly by.

5 minutes is also enough time to do something. To look something up, find something out. Start and maybe finish an email. Start and maybe finish a post.  Tweak and finalise a document. Read an article. Listen to something that inspires you.

Dedicating 5 minutes means that you can spend the rest of the day safe in the knowledge that you have done something for yourself, to improve your situation, to take control. 

The worst is not doing ANYTHING. This is when the self-doubt and self-recrimination comes in, and the super negative thoughts. This is where you procrastinate and feel bad. You tell yourself the situation will never change, this is it forever, you’re going to feel bad forever more.

But doing 5 minutes of something changes everything. Suddenly you’re a person who is moving forwards, who is dedicating time to something important. You’re taking action, you’re proactive, you have energy. You’re focussed. You will change your situation.

Start with 5 minutes, doing whatever it is you need to do. Start small, start slowly, but start.

If you’d like some career coaching with me, you can find out more about me on LinkedIn and send me a message. Or email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Photo by Veri Ivanova on Unsplash

Posted on

Don’t feel bad about wanting to change career.

If you want to change your job or career right now, you might be feeling bad about it.

You might be feeling guilty.

You’ve at least got a job and a salary, even if you’re not enjoying it. So many people are currently without work or with an uncertain work future, or are just doing whatever work they can to survive.

Maybe you should just keep your head down, do the work, stop moaning.

Don’t ignore the feelings

I do think it’s really important to appreciate what you’ve got. And if you’ve got a job and money coming in, that’s a massive sense of security. 

But – don’t ignore those feelings. If you’re feeling frustrated, or underused, or that you’re directing your time and energy in something meaningless to you – that’s a big deal. No matter what else is going on in the world, how you feel day to day is important. 

How you spend your time is important – it’s everything. And if it’s not being spent on doing things benefitting you or others in a way that feels good to you, that’s going to have an effect. You could be channelling your time in a much more meaningful direction. 

You’re going to be of more use to the world doing good work, offering support, donating, campaigning, giving your time; if you’re feeling good. If you enjoy your work, and you’re working towards something, and earning money for it, you’re much freer. 

Feeling guilty, procrastinating, and doing nothing isn’t the way forward. And it’s not helping anyone.

Make a plan

Instead, give yourself time and work out a plan. Start educating yourself on what interests you the most, what’s most meaningful to you, what suits you best. Where would you really like to be applying your experience, knowledge, skills and time?

Start investigating options, and discovering what’s out there for you. It doesn’t always have to be a massive about-turn, doing a new qualification or needing a ton of experience.

Sometimes it’s simply a shift, transferring your skills and experience to something slightly different. There might be an area you’d not ever really considered working in before, you didn’t really know it was an option, that right now, is just right for you.

If you’re in the privileged position to have a choice – use it. And don’t feel bad.

If you’d like to try a coaching session with me, send me a message on LinkedIn or at joaopoku@gmail.com for more info and details.

Written during Writers’ Hour. Join me on the next one.

Photo by Leone Venter on Unsplash

Posted on

It’s a plan! Why planning is so important in career change.

I’m a planner. I’m always thinking ahead, working out what needs to be done, how things will fit in, what steps are needed.

I was going to write that I love planning, but I’m not 100% sure that’s correct. Sometimes I find it quite stressful: planning trips, meals for other people, weekend plans – when it involves other people it’s not always so easy. 

But MY plans, just for me, I love. Planning something I want to do, enjoy or achieve. I love writing a big old list of all the things I need to do, then ticking them off, one by one. 

Coaching

Being a planner comes into my coaching – I love encouraging other people to make a plan too. 

I’m aware that when we try to hold too much stuff in our heads we rarely get anything done, we just end up thinking and procrastinating and finding excuses.

But getting things down on paper, ordered, with timings – that’s when things fall into place. Because now you’ve got a plan. 

When coaching clients work with me we create a solid plan for their career change. We go through an initial brainstorm and uncover what the client really wants (quite often hidden behind fears). Then it all comes down to planning, and then taking action. 

Simple.

By the end of their time working with me my clients have clearly mapped out what they need to do. They’ll have already started taking steps towards change too. 

New job, new home, new life

Take my client Sarah, who was based in London. She planned to:

  • Contact her current work and ask to cut down her hours and work remotely.
  • Apply for jobs teaching English part-time in Paris.
  • Find somewhere to live in Paris.
  • Sort out the admin involved in moving to France.

This might all sound massive and overwhelming. But Sarah was 100% sure this was what she wanted, and that it was feasible. 

She was desperate to live in Paris, it was a massive life goal. In her heart she wanted to work with young people and education. If she could work remotely in her current job, she could take it to Paris and carry on enjoying the stable income, whilst exploring other avenues.

Super focused

We broke down each big step into even smaller steps. It would take some work and effort – but it was doable. 

Suddenly, rather than dreaming and procrastinating and hating her current situation, Sarah was clear on what she had to do. She became highly focused and proactive. It was easier to bat away the feelings of resistance, because her goal felt real and achievable.

Things started to ‘fall into place’, because she was making it happen. She had her plan, and she was acting on it.

She’s now doing exactly what she’d dreamed of, in Paris. She made it all happen.

If you need helping making a plan, and you’d like to try coaching with me, send me a message for more details. Connect with me on LinkedIn to find out more, or email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Written during Writers’ Hour. Join me on the next one.

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

Posted on

What to do when your dream career seems inaccessible

Clients who are stuck in their careers will often be adamant that they don’t know what they want to do with their life.

They’re scared to voice their dreams. I have no idea. I’m lost. Nothing interests me. I’ve had such bad luck, such bad experiences. Nothing appeals. More times than not they do have a secret fantasy dream career, but it seems inaccessible to them.

They know for sure that they are not happy where they are, in their current situation. But they’re scared to delve much deeper than that.

And then, as I keep unpeeling the layers, there’s always a throwaway remark along the lines of, “well I’ve always been obsessed with fashion, but…”.

Or, “my absolute dream would be to work with children who’ve been kicked out of school but….”

Or, “ideally I’d love to go back to Australia and work on a retreat where people go to recuperate but…”.

An inaccessible dream

They tell themselves that their dream is unrealistic, that it will be a struggle to get there. It’s out of their reach.

They decide that for now they just need to find a job that’s ok…then if they work hard enough somehow they might get to the dream place. They feel that they’d need to earn it. To have more experience, more luck, better skills. In fact, to have a totally different life.

And they tend to think that such jobs are for other people, not them. 

The fact that they see other people out there doing the job isn’t enough to encourage them to go for it. They see it as a deterrent – these people must be so skilled and so talented and must have a zillion skills that they don’t have. 

Break it down to make it achievable

The reality is that this job probably isn’t perfect and probably won’t satisfy every desire they might have. But, if on the whole it fits in with their values, suits their way of working, and makes good use of their skills, then that’s pretty great.

If they can break it down in this way, they can start to see it as something which is achievable. 

How can they gain any missing skills? Do they need to retrain, and accept that they may need to save up for it, and it may take time? How can they start to get a bit of experience in the area? Would trying out a similar role be possible? Job shadowing? Can they speak to a few people doing a similar role and find out a bit more about their reality? 

Maybe they can pull it down a little from this pedestal in the sky, and build a more 3D picture. What’s actually stopping them? Is there something concrete they can work on, or do they need to face some invisible obstacles usually known as fear, lack of confidence, procrastination?

Making it a reality

I had a client who dreamed of living in Paris, working with underprivileged kids, of being able to work flexibly and sometimes from home. When we started talking she was working 9-5 in an office in London. Now, she’s living her dream. And it’s not perfect. But it’s way more in line with what she wanted from her life.

Another client dreamed of working as an entrepreneur, writing, consulting. He was working for a very traditional institution. Now, he has his own travel consultancy website and writes a blog on business innovation. 

They both started off feeling that their dream career seemed inaccessible. Then by progressing along step-by-step they started to see that if you pinpoint what you want, and explore along the way – talking to this person, applying for that, discovering something else – gradually you can reach a place you’ve only dreamed of.

If you’d like to work with me on some coaching sessions, find me on LinkedIn and send me a message, or email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Written during Writers’ Hour. Join me on the next one.

Photo by Kenny Luo on Unsplash