Putting things off til later. We all do it. Either we don’t want to do it, or we just can’t face it right now. But some things really shouldn’t be put off, they’re too important and time is precious…
I saw a photo of myself from over a decade ago, taken in Dubrovnik, Croatia. I was there visiting with my family. I’m stood high on the city walls, sun baking down, admiring the view. I remember walking along the wall, running my hand along the hot stone, deep in thought.
I remembered how on that trip I had promised myself that one day (soon) I’d live abroad again.
It took me a good 10 years to finally do it.
They regret they didn’t do it sooner.
It seems a lot of people’s biggest regret when it comes to career change, starting their own business, moving house or moving abroad, is that they didn’t do it sooner. They put it off.
The thing is, once you’ve done it, you look back and realise it’s not so difficult. It’s simply the difference between dreaming about doing it and making the decision and actually doing it.
Most things are doable – you just need to decide.
The regret comes from realising that even though there may be challenges and obstacles steep learning curves and things that go wrong, your goal is achievable. And it really wasn’t something you needed to put off for so long.
Once I’d moved from the UK to Spain and looked back at the process, I was quite surprised at how straightforward it had actually been. I’d built it into this really massive thing. Leaving my flat, friends, family, life. For years the dream of moving abroad had become a big deal (even though I’d done it before, successfully, twice).
In the end it came down to:
- Speaking to my bosses about moving abroad, which was scary and took courage – but they were fine about it (we work remotely).
- I had to sort out renting my flat which was a bit of a faff. But the hardest part was deciding to leave my flat, which I’d loved living in. The emotional stuff. Once I’d made the decision, the rest was just practical stuff.
- Stopping all household services and direct debits was straightforward.
- Packing up the stuff in my flat and taking it to store in my Mum and Dad’s garage was easy.
- Booking a flight to Valencia was simple.
- Finding a flat in Valencia took a bit of effort, but I did it.
There’s always a way.
It really was just a series of steps. The main thing was sorting out my mindset, and getting my head around the idea that moving abroad at that time was plausible.
I know not everyone’s situation is the same, not everyone will have their own flat to rent out, not everyone will have parents willing to store their stuff. Not everyone will have a job they can pick up in another country, working remotely.
But, with each person’s own personal situation, there’s always a way. Once you make the decision to do something, it’s a matter of working away at it, taking steps to get you there.
Same with career change.
I spent years agonising about changing career. It did take a lot of reflection and planning. But I really dragged it out. I was putting it off because I really didn’t know what I wanted to do.
When it came down to it, it meant making the decision to leave my job and find something that suited me better. I had six months of doing a variety of jobs and freaking out about what to do. But eventually I found a new job I loved, and found the guts to start my own coaching business too.
And I now realise I could have done this all sooner.
Think about it.
The thing is, it doesn’t really matter if you do it now, in one year, or in 5 years. But what I’m saying is don’t wait too long out of fear. A bit of time to plan and prepare and set safety nets – yes. But procrastinating and putting it off for years, and not even taking that one small first step? No. You’re just putting off your own happiness.
Is there something that you’d really like to do, that you dream of doing, that if you fast forward 10 or 15 years you KNOW you’ll regret not going? What is it? Write it down. Put down as much detail around it as you can. Set a date by which time you want to have achieved this dream.
It may seem enormous, time consuming, ridiculous. But think about how you’ll feel once you do it or achieve it.
If you keep taking tiny steps towards this big goal, then so much can be achieved, however long it takes you.
“Dare to life the life you dream for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you’d like to try life coaching with me, contact me at: joaopoku@gmail.com
Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash
