Stuck in a groove – how Queer Eye can help you get unstuck

The TV show Queer Eye and an Aussie YouTuber are this week’s inspiration for getting unstuck and taking action. Random? Stick with me…

YouTube ‘reset your life’ videos

There’s an Aussie lady on YouTube who makes videos on productivity. She often publishes videos on resetting your life, her most popular ones. They are always along the lines of: ‘reset for the week ahead’, ‘a reset for this month’, or even ‘reset your life’. When you’re busy or stressed or overwhelmed, the thought of a reset is so appealing…

She’ll list the things she’s going to do: clean and tidy the flat; fix things that need to be repaired and have been bugging her; get into a new routine of healthy eating or going to bed earlier; organising and decluttering all her digital stuff. It’s strangely watchable. There’s something satisfying about watching someone else getting stuff done, ticking off their list.

Quite often when I speak to people in a coaching session who are feeling a bit stuck, it turns out they too want to change their daily routine and how they’re spending their time. They want a reset.

They want to eat more fruit, watch less tv, do more exercise. Sometimes there’s a bigger need as well, such as changing career or setting up a business on their own. Whatever the case, they want to get into some good habits like sleeping earlier and getting up earlier to have a bit more time. They want to look after themselves a bit more. And they want to get unstuck.

Queer Eye

Which brings me to the TV programme Queer Eye. Queer Eye is all about helping someone who is stuck in a groove. Five experts in five different areas – looking after your appearance, decoration, cookery, clothing and relationships – help someone who has been nominated as needing a shake up.

Perhaps they need to change their way of thinking about themselves, build some self-esteem and stop the super negative thoughts.

Often they could do with caring for themselves a little more and perking themselves up – sorting out a skincare routine, getting their hair cut and trying a new outfit.

Their home environment is tackled. Often they are settling for a far from ideal situation because of their low self-esteem or because of general lethargy. 

Frequently the person has a floundering business or could do with getting a jolt of energy into their career. 

The Queer Eye guys are empathetic and caring and gently kick their client’s butt, encouraging and motivating them to do things they’ve never done before. They build their self-belief. There are always tears and there’s always a joyful ending.

Plan a reset

I love the reset videos and Queer Eye because they inspire you to think about your own situation. Is there something nagging at you that you want to get done but you can’t seem to drum up the enthusiasm? Is there some kind of improvement you could make to your home? Do you need a kick up the butt to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do?

Sometimes it can be helpful to sit down and plan a reset. Write down all the different things you want to change and possible solutions. It can be as small as ‘get up 10 minutes earlier every day so I don’t have to rush’ to ‘find a new job in tech so I can quit my boring job’. It’s important to list the solutions too so that you can actually start to take action. 

If you want to wake up 10 minutes earlier and have more time, what can you actually do? You can set your alarm. Maybe you’ll plan what you’ll wear and set out your breakfast things the night before so that you have fewer decisions to make in the morning. You can work out what you’ll do with your extra 10 minutes. Plan to set a timer. Select a book you want to read. Do 10 minutes research on your new career.

If you want to find a new job what can you do? Plan to talk to someone who might have some advice. Start working with a coach to sort out what you really want to do. Read up on what CVs look like these days. Read a book on career change.

Monthly reset

You might want to plan a monthly reset. Take one day a month to sit down and take a broader look at your life and how you spend your time. Are you happy with it all? What would you like to change? What would you like to cut out? Is there anything you’d want to add in?

If you’d like to have some coaching sessions with me, contact me on LinkedIn or at

Photo by Jace & Afsoon on Unsplash

At the core

When have I seen the most impact and the best results with clients?

When they’ve worked with me for more than three coaching sessions. One isn’t really enough. We need to go deep. To the core. We need to find out what you really want help with.

Often after two or three sessions we uncover what is really at the core of your feeling of being stuck. On the surface it’s that you’ve been made redundant, or want to change to another industry. But deep down what’s holding you back and making you feel bad is often lack of confidence or self-belief in your abilities. And it takes time to work on these things, taking small steps to build yourself up. 

My coaching isn’t really about helping you with career change. Not really. Deep down, at the core, it always comes down to working on confidence, self-belief, and motivation. 


If I look at my past three new clients, their issues have been based around: feeling they are not good enough, sabotaging themselves, lacking confidence, knowing what they want but not going for it. 

It’s interesting isn’t it? It’s as though everyone’s out there putting on a brave face; we all feel insecure inside but put on a front of everything being ok.

If you are struggling with feeling stuck, have a good think about what you’re feeling and why. Try some journaling, get stuff out of your head. Try to see your experience and current situation with a different perspective. What would you say to a friend in your situation? You’d try to get them to see things differently, as you see them.

Look at the obstacles you’ve overcome and what you’ve achieved, really think about this, in all areas of your life. Think about the positives in your current situation, even if you are struggling. Consider your options. Write out as many as you can, even if they seem silly or outrageous. The more you write the more you’ll see you DO have options.

If you’d like to have some coaching sessions with me, contact me via LinkedIn or email at

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash


I feel as though there’s a lot of transition going on at the moment. Both for me and around me. 

People are changing careers, moving houses, moving to another country, or from city to countryside. Couples are breaking up, breaking down, having babies. I know this sort of transition happens all the time – but there seems to be a lot of motion all at once. Perhaps after a year of stillness – any movement seems dramatic. But perhaps there’s also something in the air.

We’re coming out of a terrible time with slightly new identities. We’ve probably all developed new routines and are realising what works for us and what doesn’t. Perhaps a commute just doesn’t seem feasible any more, nor does a diary jam-packed with seeing friends. Or maybe we’ve discovered that working from home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, isn’t for us, and we’re desperate to return to an office environment around people and banter and distractions. 

Shedding a skin

I myself returned to the UK for a 3-week visit after over a year away. Alongside quarantining, then gingerly meeting up with family and friends and visiting a few different places, I had a massive urge to declutter and clear things out. 

For the first time in 4 years, I opened up the boxes stacked in my parents’ garage, full of things from my London flat that didn’t make it over to Spain with me. Some brought back memories, some I realised were actually quite useful, some I’d totally forgotten about. Some things were no longer relevant. 

I had clothes to sort too, clothes that no longer suited me, or fit, or that I viewed with fresh eyes and realised I really didn’t like. There was paperwork that I’d been holding onto and didn’t need. 

I found piles of notebooks, containing diary entries and plans, and saw the same old worries and insecurities staring back at me from the pages. In some ways it was comforting to see – I’ll always worry and overthink things, but things do evolve over time and you find your way eventually.

This big clear out felt like the shedding of a skin. And it felt good. I wasn’t too nostalgic, or scared by the amount of time that had passed. I was pragmatic. What can I use now, what might I use one day, what have I grown out of? How can I simplify things? I realised I was more focused on moving forwards than on looking back.

If you’re going through a transition and you’d like some coaching sessions with me, connect on LinkedIn or email at

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash


Lots of things have come up this week (thing’s I’ve read, conversations, social media posts) which make me more and more convinced that having a healthy dollop of self-belief is pretty much all you need to accomplish anything you want in life.

The people who are out there doing what they want – people I know, people I see from afar – all believe in their capabilities and are just getting on and doing it.

I’m also aware that so many of us are holding ourselves back – feeling under confident, confused, stuck, scared. And we could all be out there doing amazing things.

But something’s stopping us. Most likely it’s that little voice in our heads telling us that ‘we’re not enough’. Not experienced enough, not knowledgeable enough, not brave enough, not clever enough, not strong enough.

Because really – we’re all equipped to find a really great new job, we’re all equipped to start a small business. If you can read you can follow a guide, use Google, read a book, do a course, do whatever it takes. Work out what you need to do. The tools are there. It’s just the doing it that’s the hard part. Getting things moving.

How to you gain self-belief? How do you ‘improve’ it? I don’t really have the answer. But I have a sneaky suspicion it’s a muscle that you need to work. It’s something you can practise.

Read a book about confidence/self-belief/resilience and actually do the tasks they set. Listen to empowering speeches. Read the autobiography of someone you admire and learn from them. Practise getting better at making decisions – start small. Trust that you’ll make the right decision without asking everyone you know what they think first.

So start taking small steps towards whatever it is that you want to do. Tell yourself that if someone else has done it before, then you can do it too.

If you’d like help with career change coaching, you can book a 1-hour session here: Or get in touch if you’d like to learn more. Find me on LinkedIn or email at

Photo by Alena Jarrett on Unsplash

Ask for help

It can be really daunting looking for a new job or trying to change career. Don’t be scared to ask for help – chances are you’ll have so many people around you who will be keen to help.

Take writing your cv for example. At the time it seems a monumental task. Put all your skills, experience, education, qualifications, interests, volunteering, into one document, two pages or shorter? Also making sure that each word you write is entirely relevant to the job you want to apply for? Only including the skills the that appear on the job spec, and that the recruiter wants to see?

You don’t have to include everything little thing you’ve ever done – but miss out something which could be important, at your peril.

Most of us would rather do anything but.

Here’s where learning to ask for help comes into its own. Chances are you have someone within your network who is a whizz at cvs, who has the eye of an eagle, who is skilled at synthesising what a job spec is asking for and what you can offer. And they can help you out.

Maybe it’s a friend, a family member, a trusted colleague? An ex-colleague? A university or school friend? Someone you do sports with, or a class with?

It’s a breeze

Most people are busy and have their own things to be getting on with. But – when people are good at something, they usually jump at the chance to do what they excel at. For them it’s a breeze, fun even. And won’t take too long.

And it is massively helpful. Another pair of eyes, another perspective, someone who can see the whole picture and isn’t dismissing your achievements as inconsequential or lame – is a great asset. They even help you to look at your experience afresh, and realise how much you have achieved. That not everyone can do what you can do, you’re just so used to it it seems boring, but for others it’s a great skill.

They may also be a bit more up to date with the world of job applications, and be able to give you some tips on how to format the cv, and make it all a bit more readable and appealing.

Go for someone you trust, who knows a thing or two about cvs, or the industry you are interested in.

And if you really don’t have someone you feel you can ask, there are a ton of online support articles to help you out. Just find the one with the right tone of voice for you, that will make you feel buoyed up rather than depressed.

If you’d like help with career change coaching, you can book a 1-hour session here: Or get in touch if you’d like to learn more. Find me on LinkedIn or email at

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash