Languishing

If you’re feeling blah about career change or life in general, I’d recommend reading this article from the New York Times about ‘languishing’.

A friend brought it to my attention as we were discussing this strange feeling so many of us seem to be experiencing at the moment:

“Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.”

It’s been a tough old time. And we’re still in this strange hinterland of not being locked down, being able to be out and about more, maybe even socialising and seeing people we love…and yet, we’re not there yet. 

Travel isn’t ok, allowed, or easy. New variants pop up to give us the fear once again. Vaccinations are happening – but being vaccinated doesn’t suddenly make everything ok. 

And so, we’re struggling. We’re OK. But not great. Not full of energy, plans or joy. Motivation is a tricky one. Somehow so many of us are just about managing to go through the motions.

But anything that requires energy and effort, like looking for a new job, or starting to explore new possibilities, just seems so hard right now.

Small wins and flow

The article recommends focusing on small goals as a way to counteract this feeling. And getting into a flow state, where time passes without your awareness of it because you’re fully absorbed in doing something. 

I guess getting into a flow state means making sure you spend a bit of time each day doing something you love, and that makes you feel good. 

For me this means going for a walk and listening to a podcast. I forget everything, I focus on moving forwards and taking in what I’m listening to. 

Or it means watching a great tv show.

Or having a good chat with a family member or friend.

Or reading.

That’s all pretty doable. And as for the small wins?

Something that has helped me for over a year now, thanks to a little book given to me by a friend, is to write at the end of each day, a few things that made me smile.

It could be remembering how pretty the flowers looked in the park this morning. An funny exchange with a colleague. A text from a friend which feels like a hug. A particularly delicious snack. Lying on the sofa after work and doing nothing for a bit. 

The amazing thing is that it brings awareness to your day. Something happens and you make a mental note that this will be one of your wins of the day. And causes you to pause, take it in, reflect, and move on.

Then at the end of the day, even if it has seemed pretty so-so and uneventful, you sit and reflect and realise there were a few brilliant moments. Moments of beauty, of connection, of contentment. Of gratitude. 

We’re all languishing. It’s to be expected. I’m trying to remind myself that it won’t always be this way. And in the meantime, focus on the small wins. The great moments.

If you feel like gently getting things moving and would like my help and support with your career change, you can book a package of 3 x 1-hour sessions with me. You can book your sessions weekly, fortnightly or monthly. I’ll help you unpick where you’re feeling stuck, and make a plan to move forwards. Find me on LinkedIn or email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

How meaningful is our work? What this year has taught us.

I’ve hesitated talking about career change as much as usual in my blogposts this past year. Because things have shifted, living through a pandemic. I’ve struggled to talk about it in the same way I previously had. 

I’m so aware of the desperation and financial stress so many people are going through. They might been made redundant or are struggling to find work at this time. Talking about a career change, aimed at those people already with a job seemed…insensitive. Being able to change career is a privilege. Having options is a privilege. 

I’m aware lots of people are simply surviving right now, living through an extremely stressful time.

Career change right now

However the reality is, many people are considering a career change right now. 44% of UK finance workers are considering changing jobs because of the pandemic (600 people were surveyed). That’s according to a survey by KPMG and the Financial Services Skills Commission.

The pandemic has given a lot of us a jolt, and has caused us to reassess our lives. People are seeing their jobs, and perhaps their lives, differently. Taking away the commute, time in the office with colleagues, meetings and travel, has left many considering what they really do all day every day. And if work doesn’t seem particularly meaningful, or enjoyable, that can be a shock. 

When I had a career change a few years ago, we weren’t going through a pandemic. But I’d definitely started to question how meaningful my work was. Take away the fancy lunches, rushing around London for meetings, the freebies and the trips abroad. And my work consisted of helping other companies sell more things and make more money through their advertising. Which was something I didn’t particularly care about. And it’s quite hard to fake caring about something over a period of time. Over a period of years.

I’d marvel at how some people seemed to be excited by it. They’d come up with new ideas, full of enthusiasm. I didn’t get it. I just did what I had to do, but something was missing. And I didn’t feel authentic. You can see when someone is genuinely interested and cares. I didn’t want to carry on spending my days feeling like that. 

Should we stay stuck?

A lot of other people feel the same way right now. Their job is fine, it pays them well. Many people would tell them to be grateful for what they have. And I do agree it’s important to be grateful for the luxuries and privileges some of us have. 

But does that mean you should stay stuck, and put up with things that affect you negatively? You know there could be more to your work. You could be working away hours of your life for something you actually care about and that is meaningful. That can be a difficult thought to push down. 

The pandemic and lockdowns have given lots of us an opportunity to consider our values, what’s most important to us. For many of us it probably comes down to appreciating family, friends, community, our health, both physical and mental, our safety.  After these essentials, comes how we are as a person, how we spend our time, what we learn, how we grow.

And if our work doesn’t play a part in this, doing meaningful things with our time, learning and growing, then we’re left feeling lost. All that time sat at a desk, emailing. For what? Is it important, is it worth it, or is it worthless?

We’re already seeing massive shifts in how we work. A lot of us will have spent this year working remotely when normally we’d be in an office. Sometimes change leads to yet more change. The world’s been turned upside down, things have been shaken up. I think it’s understandable that many people will be thinking now’s the time to take another step in a new direction.

Sometimes we need a push.

If you’d like some career coaching with, you can find out more about me on LinkedIn and send me a message. Or email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash