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Find what works for you

I love to read stuff about doing things in your own way. Weeding out and selecting and finding what works for you, and you only. 

It’s so easy to consume other people’s opinions. Someone tells you they did something a certain way, and that if you do exactly the same it’ll work out for you too. 

Another person giving their opinion based on what they’ve heard other people saying over the years.

Then there’s collective thinking. Things we see in the media or online, things it seems everyone knows; what constitutes a good job, a successful relationship, the only way to live a good life.

Thing is, there’s always an exception to the rule. 

I read a piece by writer Ruby Tandoh about quitting. Generally we’re advised not to quit things. It’s seen as failure, as being lazy, as giving up, as not putting enough effort in.

Her take on it is – there’s amazing liberation to be found in quitting when you feel like it. You have a choice, and you can make it. You can quit something that isn’t working for you, that isn’t feeling good.

(Obviously this is dependant on circumstance, and being in a privileged position in the first place). 

“Only later in life does the penny slowly drop and you realise that quitting isn’t just about wimping out or a can’t-be-bothered attitude. It’s about taking control of the situations, people and relationships that can forge – or damage – the meandering path of your life.”

–Ruby Tandoh article in WePresent

I loved hearing a different take on quitting. I quit my job four years ago. I’d stayed for years believing you could only leave a job when you had another great one sorted. Ideally with a pay rise. That thinking kept me stuck for years.

Because I had no idea what my next step would be. And as it wasn’t clear, and I didn’t know how to go about exploring what was out there, I just stayed put.

When I finally did leap – with savings, some potential freelance work and temp work on the cards, a bed at my parents should things get desperate – it felt like the best thing I’d ever done. 

“The only thing more thrilling than quitting something is starting something new. In the vacuum that quitting creates, countless new maybes rush in.”

–Ruby Tandoh article in WePresent

It felt like the first time I’d really made a big decision for myself, that I was actually taking control of my life, and the direction in which it would go. 

I read a ton of books beforehand about career change, finding your passion, going freelance, being an entrepreneur. I’d read enough to convince me that I could be one of those people. That it is possible to quit a job and not only survive, but maybe go on to bigger and better things. 

I’m not necessarily suggesting you quit your job, it’s not a decision to take lightly. But I’m saying that you have to work things out your way, find what works for you.

Take on advice, take on different ideas about how to do things, and try them out for yourself. Keep what works, chuck anything that doesn’t.

Make decisions based on you and your life, not solely on what others think.

If you’d like to try a coaching session with me, send me a message on LinkedIn or at joaopoku@gmail.com for more info and details.

Written during Writers’ Hour. Join me on the next one.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

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Nothing like a good digital declutter

It’s been a while since I’ve written about having a good old declutter. Which is strange as it’s something I seem to think about ALL THE TIME.

I’m always seeking out articles or blogposts on how to declutter, in the hope of getting a new insight or simply enjoying reading about someone else’s process.

I’m no psychologist. But I’m pretty sure my obsession for all things to do with simplifying, minimalism and decluttering, is about control. When crazy things are going on in the world and sometimes life seems overwhelming – taking control of your things and space, and processes, feels gratifying.

I feel so pleased with myself when I feel things are nice and tidy and orderly.

At the moment, my digital life is getting a makeover. Here are some tips if you feel like a good digital sort out.

Dropbox or any other online storage system

I have some seriously old files here. Old coursework I’ve done, old job applications I’ve submitted. Have I ever referred to the coursework again, will I ever? Doubt it. Maybe it feels like proof or something, but either I’ve got a certificate I can keep or I can just remain safe in the knowledge I completed it. I don’t need dusty old folders digitally cluttering up. 

I’ve deleted a load, put stuff I want to keep long-term on USB sticks, reordered and renamed. It feels good.

Online bookmarks

My ‘to read’, ‘personal’, ‘inspiration’ bookmarks quickly become out of control. It seems any webpage I’ve ever found interesting or useful, or that I’ve bookmarked to come back to when I have time, is saved.

Maybe it’s a comfort thing – knowing I can quickly access something again. The thing is, Google is really quick. If I’ve found something on google before, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to find it again. I’m only keeping stuff I refer to daily or weekly.

Email folders

I’m a serial email folder maker. I like to keep my inbox as empty as possible, so I end up having a million folders to sort everything into. There is so much old rubbish stored here from over the years. This is going to be a long-term process, starting with folders which are obsolete – a ‘job applications’ folder last used 4 years ago for example. It’s so cathartic whittling it down to a manageable amount. You also get a really good sense of achievement, of changes in your life.

The Notes app on my phone

Every little restaurant  recommendation, password reminder, random thought of the day gets stored on here. Which means that when I need something important i.e. a password reminder, there’s a lot to get through to find it. I did a good cull of this info  – if I haven’t been to any of these local places after a year, I’m probably never going to. Or maybe I’ve been to them and it’s now irrelevant? Binned.

I’ve realised that if i can get my phone and laptop to a close a state of ‘brand new’ as possible, I’m going to be pretty pleased. You can feel weighed down by digital clutter. Just seeing loads of items or icons stored or saved can feel like physical clutter. There’s always a good excuse for a declutter.

So there we have it, if you love all things decluttering hopefully you’ll have got some inspiration from my recent culling!

If you’d like to contact me for a coaching session, you can do so here on LinkedIn or at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Photo by Norbert Levajsics on Unsplash

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Real life career change case study – from London NGO to remote work in Paris.

Kate had reached a point where she was really unhappy with her work, her social life, her living set-up. Everything just felt wrong and not suited to her. She needed a career change.

She felt that she had no control over her life and had somehow ended up in a situation that wasn’t making her happy.

She’s a really big-hearted person, who wants to help with terrible things going on in the world. 

Office life

Kate had recently started working for an NGO and working with disadvantaged school kids on the side. She wasn’t sure about the NGO work. Part of the issue was the set-up, she really didn’t like the tiring commute, being in the office and at her desk all day, and sticking to formal 9-5 working hours.

Kate loved working with the kids, and wanted to do more, but there didn’t seem to be many opportunities for full-time decently paid work.

Dream life in Paris

She lived in someone else’s house in a nice part of London, but craved her own space and independence. She had dreamed of living in Paris for years, and spent her free time studying French and watching films.

Kate had some career change coaching sessions with me, and at the start she felt lost. She had a vague idea of what she wanted but it all seemed so out of reach and unlikely. She was overwhelmed by the task ahead. But she was intent on finding something that really sat with her values and her lifestyle. 

She got specific

Over the weeks we narrowed down what she really wanted; what kind of work, working environment, hours, working space, pay, non work stuff, living situation. We weighed up what was feasible, and felt good, felt exciting. And we worked out a plan that would get her there. She thought out each step, different things she could try, with me prompting or questioning her. 

She’d have to do some pretty tough things, like asking her boss for an honest conversation, applying for a job abroad, consider finding accommodation abroad and all the admin that comes with that…but she’d started to see that it was just a series of steps, which she was capable of completing.

Part-time in Paris

And a year on, she’s working for the NGO part-time, remotely, from her new home in Paris. She’s also working with French business students part-time, and loving it.

It’s amazing that what had once been such a faraway dream is now her reality.

If you’d like my help with your career change, email me at joaopoku@gmail.com or contact me via LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannaopoku/.

Photo by Sebastian Brennes on Unsplash