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Impress yourself with how slow you can be

This week I was introduced to a poem. It was a reminder to slow down, and it felt like a massive hug:

In the bleak and uncertainty, in the mundane and in the worry, in the misplacing of days and the miscommunication of rules, in the pasta for breakfast and in the cereal for tea, be soft and be gentle, let yourself impress yourself with how slow you can be. – Charly Cox

I love any excuse to be reminded to just sit quietly, read, have a cup of tea. Do things slowly. Isn’t it amazing that we need a reminder?

And even more important perhaps, a reminder to be gentle with ourselves.

How often do we actually do what’s best for us rather than what we think we should be doing? Do we ever listen to our intuition? 

Show mercy

Coincidentally the same morning I listened to an interview with the writer Elizabeth Gilbert. Her message was pretty similar, that you have to be able to be nice to yourself before you’re able to have compassion for the rest of the world. Show yourself mercy. We’re so relentless and merciless on ourselves. We beat ourselves up.

And we should listen to our intuition. As she points out, your body knows what you need, but we’ve got used to listening to our rational minds over our bodies. We think we should do this, we tell ourselves we have to do that, so we do it. Then we maybe regret it, because we weren’t listening to what we truly needed. 

I think it’s something we could all practice more. It’s not always easy. But maybe we can just aim to sneak a bit of intuitive thinking in?

Sometimes it’s as simple as listening to our bodies and having a rest when we’re tired. An actual rest, not just scrolling through whatever online for a hit. A real ‘I need to lie down and close my eyes for a moment’ proper rest.

I did this the other evening. When I finished work my eyes were tired from staring at a screen all day. What I really wanted was to just lie down and close my eyes for a bit. Which I did, and nearly fell asleep.

Then I felt I had the energy to lie on the sofa and watch a bit of tv. Which I did and it felt so good, with not a scrap of guilt that I could be doing something more productive. I felt refreshed afterwards and took myself off to start cooking.

So simple, so obvious, but so often we push ourselves to do the more ‘noble’ thing, the more sensible thing, the more productive thing. But, particularly during this period of the pandemic, I do think the best thing we can do for ourselves is be kind, be gentle, be slow.

If you’d like to have a life coaching session with me, sign up here on LinkedIn. Or email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Written during Writers’ Hour. Join me on the next one. 

Photo by Alexandre Chambon on Unsplash

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Do less. It’s simple.

Simple grey typewriter with lots of green plants.

I recently read an article I loved, called Why ambition is overrated. In it the author admits that she has a few simple pleasures in life, and only wants to do the work she needs to in order to enjoy these things.

For example, things such as eating good food, reading books and watching a films. Simple.

Her aim is to work enough – and not much more.

“I am constantly amazed by the blasé professional assumption that everyone should work an hour later than they are contracted, and take ten minute lunch breaks at their desk (if at all).” – Megan Nolan

And I think that’s a pretty good aim. Most of us just want to enjoy the simple things. But we get sucked into social pressures, feel that we’ve got to work harder, keep up, not get left behind.

As much as I’m interested in self-development and improving things in your life you’re not happy with (job, living situation, morning routine), I’m actually a big fan of a more ‘slacker’ attitude.

Slow down

Part of the reason I moved to Spain a couple of years ago was that I wanted a simpler life. I was reacting badly to London life. I wanted less stress, less pressure, more sun, a better social life.

Things are slower here, on a smaller scale. My social life is simpler and easier. Here I have friends available to meet for a coffee or wine at a moment’s notice, never further than a short walk or bike ride away.

What’s important for you

Of course moving to another country isn’t for everyone, and, it’s not the only solution when things aren’t going well in your life.

But working out for yourself what you want in life IS important.

And that article is a good reminder to take note of what you’re really aiming for in life. For me this means:

  • I don’t have to have the big corporate career, a job title that impresses others and to fit in to what’s often considered as success.
  • It’s about working out what’s important to you, and finding ways to integrate those things into your life.
  • Creating a lifestyle that’s right for you.
  • The ideal is doing work that you enjoy, that feels of value and that support you financially.
  • But equally important is actually having time for your home life, your social life, time with friends and family and hobbies and just not doing.

It’s up to you

I hope this post helps if you’re feeling the pressure, feeling dissatisfied and wanting to make changes to your life.

I love it when someone reminds me that doing less isn’t necessarily a bad thing. So here we are. Do less, do what YOU want, do what suits you. Make changes, one step at a time.

If you’d like to book a coaching session with me, email me at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Photo by Shelby Miller on Unsplash

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Got a good job but you’re bored? Try this.

I have a friend who has been feeling quite bummed out. Her work had been her lifeline while going through a difficult break-up. It was the one constant that she could throw herself into when everything else had been turned upside down.

Now, she’s out the other side of the break-up and feeling much more content in her personal life. But she realises something is lacking from her work life.

She’s coasting along, doing ok. But she feels the pressure, the endless more, more, more. Bigger goals, higher forecasts, always needing to beat her last figures. It doesn’t feel fresh and exciting anymore, just mundane, pointless.

She’s debating leaving, maybe finding a start-up which will renew her energy. Or, she could ride it out. See if it’s just a low patch and things might improve in the future. Or a new opportunity may arise in her current workplace.

Going through the motions

One thing she’s realised has been lacking is that she’s not learning any more. She’s just going through the motions. She’s missing the challenge, the feeling of discovering something new. Feeling that she’s growing. And this friend is a curious person. She actually has an amazing amount of energy and is naturally inquisitive and interested in the world around her.

Free online courses

So she’s set herself the challenge of doing a load of online courses. Her company provides free courses in all sorts of areas. So she’s picked any that appeal, whether or not directly related to her work. Anything that she’s curious to learn about.

She’s choosing to invest in herself, in her own self-development. Whether or not she decides to move on in a few months time, within these next months she will learn a lot. And hopefully she will be inspired. She will lift her own energy, which in turn may make her more productive in her day-to-day work.

Keep learning

If you too are feeling bored, stuck or lost in your current job, or if you’re between jobs, feeling uninspired and procrastinating, maybe you can follow her lead. Find a free online course, on any topic that takes your fancy, and go for it. If you’re super busy – even just 10 minutes a day on your commute or in bed before sleeping.

There are loads of free or affordable online courses out there. With Skillshare for example, you can sign up for a month or two for free. There are lots of inspiring people to learn from. I’ve done a social media strategy course with entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk. I did a coaching course which introduced me to new techniques. I used a tutorial on Canva to help me with creating images for Pinterest. Emma Gannon who wrote Ctrl Alt Delete and The Multi-Hyphen Method has a good course on finding your passion.

Udemy have cheap courses. And I’m looking into LinkedIn Learning. They have a massive range of courses and it looks as though you can do a one month free trial.

Invest in yourself

If you are struggling with where you are at, doing online courses and learning is a great way to gain some control of where you’re heading and how you’re spending your time.

You’ll learn new skills you’ll be able to directly apply to your work, your new job, your side hustle. Your social media. Your general knowledge. It’s investing in yourself, which can only ever be a good thing.

If you’d like to try a life coaching session with me, contact me for a free 30 minute Skype call so that I can answer any questions you might have. Email me at joaopoku@gmail.com

Photo by Avel Chuklanov on Unsplash

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Other people’s routines

I’m the sort of person that loves routine. I enjoy my morning routine, it sets me up for the day, leaving me feeling awake and ready to get to work. And I like my daily work routine, my coffee break mid-morning, and my lunchtime stroll in the park.

If for some reason I can’t follow my normal routine, everything feels in disarray. For a day or two, it’s fine, it’s a novelty and I’m having fun travelling or staying with a friend. But after two or three days out of my routine, I miss it.

I crave walking on my own, long walks listening to podcasts. My body misses the stretches of morning yoga. I long for 10 spare minutes to listen to a meditation. My writing goes off kilter, and I realise on Friday morning that I have no blogpost to publish.

More than anything, I need a bit of time on my own, no chatting, no listening, no voices. Just me getting on with my stuff.

The pressure of being productive

This week I was reminded how in the media and online there’s an intense pressure to be the most efficient you can be, the most productive, the most calm and unflappable. All around there are examples of morning routines, productivity hacks, other people telling us what works for them. Things you must do to get x result.

I’ve written before about information overload and how I’m always trying to strip things back to the bare essentials in terms of consuming information. Ironically, having recently written a few posts about productivity and efficiency, I realise I could be adding to the noise.

If hearing about other people’s lives leaves you feeling bad, or that you’re not doing enough, it’s probably healthier to dial down the noise and concentrate on doing your thing.

No routine

The thing is, I love hearing about how other people work, how they spend their days and what their morning or day time routines consist of (for example here). I find it fascinating what works for one person and doesn’t for another. Or rather, what appeals to me and what doesn’t.

Other people’s routines can seem pretty dull and strict. Chanting for 30 minutes upon waking then drinking hot water with lemon doesn’t appeal to me. Nor does waking at 5am to walk on a treadmill whilst checking emails and catching the news headlines. It sounds like a punishment rather than a great way to start the day.

What I really like is reading about people whose routines are totally different to mine, and which sound fun. Perhaps they don’t have any fixed routine. Maybe they wake up and write for 2 hours straight, only drinking coffee. Or they roll out of bed as late as possible, grab a croissant and coffee to go and put their makeup on in the tube.

Get inspired

And learning about how other people go about their lives can be helpful. You might uncover something that hits a nerve, and makes you see things differently, do things differently.

I remember reading about someone working in publishing who would snatch any moment throughout the day they could to read – getting through a staggering amount of books a month – and that made me prioritise reading more.

Sometimes it’s good to refresh the routine you’ve settled into and consciously aim to make your day more enjoyable, or relaxed, or easy.

What works for you

I think the most important point is – find out what works for you.

If you love a bit of unpredictability, no set routine and going with how you feel in the moment, brilliant. Perhaps a bit of chaos gets the adrenaline going. If like me you feel overwhelmed by lack of routine, and like things to feel a bit ordered, that’s fine too. But it probably does me good to mix it up every once in a while and not be too set in my ways.

The main thing is to find what suits you – and go with it. If you’d like some inspiration, download my guide: 3 easy steps to a morning routine you love!

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If you’d like to book a life coaching session with me, send me an email at joaopoku@gmail.com.

Photo by Kenny Luo on Unsplash